When you travel, shit always happens...
When people ask me to tell my travel stories, they always, always ask me about the bad experience first. Why you really want to hear someone suffering? But it makes sense, it’s way more fun! Sometimes bad experience are more memorable than good one. For every smile on my face in my photos, there’s suffering or sadness. But when I look it back now, that was funny like hell but absolutely not on the day when that shit happens.
I’ve lost so many things. If I calculate how much I lost, perhaps it worth my 3 months saving. I lost mostly in hostels or some nice Parisian just doing their job.
The longest day ever in Africa. I took a night bus, 10 hours trip. I sit exactly in the corner on the last row, the one with long bench. I was in number 41 and it should be just for 5 but there were 7. I couldn't move a bit, and after few hours, I can't feel my ass. The road was so bad, and so bumpy my head keep hitting the ceiling. Of course I couldn't sleep at all. But then I saw miracle. I felt something in my right shoulder. Beside me there’s an old lady sleep peacefully like a baby leaning her head on my shoulder. I slowly move her head away. Get off! But she keep coming back. I don't know my shoulders are that comfortable. Don't believe? You can try. But hot/cute girls only :P Now I understand the other meaning of the famous song "A shoulder to cry on" I really wanna cry.
I’ve lost so many things. If I calculate how much I lost, perhaps it worth my 3 months saving. I lost mostly in hostels or some nice Parisian just doing their job.
- Due bastardi stole my goddamn passport and my camera lens in Rome. Never panicked like that in my whole life. Really destroy my trip. If one day you find thief who stole your passport, you’re allowed to give him bitch slap, kick in the nuts, and high five plus bro fist... in his face. And repeat three times. They deserve it.
- Three Croatians assholes stole my iPad when I was sleeping even I put it under my goddamn pillow. And they stole another 3 iPhones from other people in the room too. Just unplug it like a boss. Oh and they took my money too. They left the room at 4 am.
- My new iPod got pickpocketed just one hour after I took it from the Post. My first and last time I try "Slide to unlock". Happened in romantic Paris.
- Another phone pickpocket. Luckily just my phone. I put it on the same pocket along with my passport and my wallet. Why do you need to ask where? Of course it’s in Paris! You can’t say you are Parisian until someone pickpocket you. True story.
- And countless time almost got pickpocket in this “city of light”. That's why I never smile in Paris. The real Parisians have to put stress face and ready to punch someone in any minute. Remember, only two types of people who smile there, Asian tourist and drunken people.
The longest day ever in Africa. I took a night bus, 10 hours trip. I sit exactly in the corner on the last row, the one with long bench. I was in number 41 and it should be just for 5 but there were 7. I couldn't move a bit, and after few hours, I can't feel my ass. The road was so bad, and so bumpy my head keep hitting the ceiling. Of course I couldn't sleep at all. But then I saw miracle. I felt something in my right shoulder. Beside me there’s an old lady sleep peacefully like a baby leaning her head on my shoulder. I slowly move her head away. Get off! But she keep coming back. I don't know my shoulders are that comfortable. Don't believe? You can try. But hot/cute girls only :P Now I understand the other meaning of the famous song "A shoulder to cry on" I really wanna cry.
You think that's bad enough? Hell no. There's a guy sit in the middle in number 39, and since it's bumpy, he has to hold on something. If not, he will slide coolly to the driver. I can sit still because I can push my leg to the seat in front of me. So where's the perfect place he has to hold on? Look at the seat plan above and remember it was 7 people, so it was more cramped. He has to stretch his arm and guess where do you think his armpit was? Exactly! In my fucking face! Sit for hours in the bus, sweating like shit, no air conditioner, and in Africa during summer. I even can't use my phone! Imagine the lovely smell. To sum up: I couldn't sleep, my head hurts, my ass numb, my shoulder stiff, I've to minimize my breath (I don't wanna die breathing the toxic), oh and I really need to pee. Amazing trip. Oh did I mention that the bus broken in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere? Welcome to Africa.
Fallen asleep in the bus.
Three types of people I hate in hostel. The thief. The snore. And the goddamn loud snore.Not just one or two, but it happened so many times. But the worst was in Lithuania. I suddenly woke up at 1 am thought there's a gorilla sleeping below me. I tried to ignore him, I put my headphones then play classical music to calm me down. All I can hear is the mix between trombone and snore. Weird symphony. Then let’s rock! I played Bon Jovi's “You Give Love Bad Name” with 75% volume (wrong choice, it make me excited just like Barney said) but still I can hear him! Then a British guy with his cool accent scream "what a bloody hell is that?" Another shout "Who the fuck is that?". But he still sleep peacefully. I get off my bed and everyone did too to see what this bastard look like. It was a big fatass Asian guy.No receptionist so we can’t ask to change the room. We wake him up then try to ask the Brits guy to find the most polite words for "SHUT THE GODDAMN HELL UP!!!" The fatsosaid sorry, then we all go back to sleep. It works! Finally silence... Only for few hours. I'monly half conscious and too sleepy when that fat bastard started snoring again. I think I said awww fuck..fuck..fuck! And hear other swearing as well. When we all woke up at 6, thebastard was gone. Tips: if you snore like pregnant gorilla, for God sake, book single room. Or sleep in toilet. Or just kill yourself.
Booked a dorm in Santorini but the hotel gave me private room with pool view! I thought,muahahaha there must be a problem with their system and I act cool. Remember this is Santorini during summer with pool view! I tell you my friend, when you wake up then open the window and there are lots of girl in bikini outside, that's a heaven. When I check out, we had a little dispute. "Why you didn't tell me you book a dorm?" I said, "I didn't remember" What a lame excuse, I just booked it two days earlier.What can I do? Do you want me to return my sleep? In the end, I paid €25 only for €70 room. The dorm? €15. Over my budget, but €10 more for big room in Santorini plus bikini girls? Hell yeah!
Took a wrong turn while hiking in Olympus. Three hours without phone network, no people, and half bottle water left. Panicked like shit. Look for high point to see the nearest town and end up in steep rocky cliff. I climbed down, get cuts everywhere. And I will never forget that relieved feeling when I finally arrived in town. Zeus really hates me.
Drink 40% alcohol Greek Ouzo in one shot. I thought it was water since it’s clear and in small bottle. Why the fuck you Greek like to drink that shit? Never taste thing horrible than that. I want to sprout but I decide to swallow it. That was the first time I got drunk, and I felt so light as if I'm flying. Ahhh, so this is how you feel when you drunk. But horrible headache the next morning. No more alcohol. Ever.
Fallen asleep in the bus.
- In Lithuania, when I woke up then calmly check my GPS, I realized I miss my stop one hour ago. Shit. I get down in the next stop in a super small town where every one look at me suspiciously. I think that'd will be the last time they'll see an Indonesian in their town.
- Miss my stop in Bran to visit Dracula castle. Wake up and realized I was the only person left in bus. Plus the driver can't speak English and I try to explain, "I want to go to Dracula castle, dracula" while stupidly bite my arm to explain. Grawwww. Both of us don't understand each other and he just stop, drop me, and point his finger. “Is there any bus? How do I go back?” And he just keep pointing. Bastard. Wait one hour to get taxi and pay 10 time more expensive.
Three types of people I hate in hostel. The thief. The snore. And the goddamn loud snore.Not just one or two, but it happened so many times. But the worst was in Lithuania. I suddenly woke up at 1 am thought there's a gorilla sleeping below me. I tried to ignore him, I put my headphones then play classical music to calm me down. All I can hear is the mix between trombone and snore. Weird symphony. Then let’s rock! I played Bon Jovi's “You Give Love Bad Name” with 75% volume (wrong choice, it make me excited just like Barney said) but still I can hear him! Then a British guy with his cool accent scream "what a bloody hell is that?" Another shout "Who the fuck is that?". But he still sleep peacefully. I get off my bed and everyone did too to see what this bastard look like. It was a big fatass Asian guy.No receptionist so we can’t ask to change the room. We wake him up then try to ask the Brits guy to find the most polite words for "SHUT THE GODDAMN HELL UP!!!" The fatsosaid sorry, then we all go back to sleep. It works! Finally silence... Only for few hours. I'monly half conscious and too sleepy when that fat bastard started snoring again. I think I said awww fuck..fuck..fuck! And hear other swearing as well. When we all woke up at 6, thebastard was gone. Tips: if you snore like pregnant gorilla, for God sake, book single room. Or sleep in toilet. Or just kill yourself.
Booked a dorm in Santorini but the hotel gave me private room with pool view! I thought,muahahaha there must be a problem with their system and I act cool. Remember this is Santorini during summer with pool view! I tell you my friend, when you wake up then open the window and there are lots of girl in bikini outside, that's a heaven. When I check out, we had a little dispute. "Why you didn't tell me you book a dorm?" I said, "I didn't remember" What a lame excuse, I just booked it two days earlier.What can I do? Do you want me to return my sleep? In the end, I paid €25 only for €70 room. The dorm? €15. Over my budget, but €10 more for big room in Santorini plus bikini girls? Hell yeah!
Took a wrong turn while hiking in Olympus. Three hours without phone network, no people, and half bottle water left. Panicked like shit. Look for high point to see the nearest town and end up in steep rocky cliff. I climbed down, get cuts everywhere. And I will never forget that relieved feeling when I finally arrived in town. Zeus really hates me.
Drink 40% alcohol Greek Ouzo in one shot. I thought it was water since it’s clear and in small bottle. Why the fuck you Greek like to drink that shit? Never taste thing horrible than that. I want to sprout but I decide to swallow it. That was the first time I got drunk, and I felt so light as if I'm flying. Ahhh, so this is how you feel when you drunk. But horrible headache the next morning. No more alcohol. Ever.
Broke my sandal just after visiting the first monastery in Meteora. Take off my shirt then wrapped it to my foot. Then walk for 5 km, no bus, under Greek summer. Have to throw off my favorite shirt :( Can't move at all the next day.
Forget my luggage after buy the sandwich. Calmly get in the train and sit. (While eating my sandwich) "Hmm did I forget something? Why I feel so light?" Then I saw other people’s lift their bag. What the fuuuuu!!! I jumped the train and ran faster than Forrest Gump. I left it in sandwich shop. Luckily didn't miss the train.
Racist, racist everywhere. When I walked alone, sometime idiot young guys mock me saying ching chong ching chong in my face. Really, really want to kick their nuts. Sometime I just smiled while thinking “are you fucking blind? Have you ever seen brown Chinese? Your mom must be sorry to have idiot like you” Sometime replied them with the worst swear words in my native language while smiling at them. “It’s ok connard. I’m not angry. I will baiser votre puta mere when I return”. Something like that.
Stranded in Iceland. There are three main things you have to consider when you travel to Iceland. First, see whether if there’s someone who live there. Second, check the bus schedule. And third, always look the weather forecast first. I was 8 hours stranded in Borgarnes waiting for the next bus, a small town you finish the whole town just half an hour walk. But the worst was when I stranded for 9 hours in the middle of blizzard in Husavik. I wait in supermarket didn’t bring anything to kill time. But at least now I know how much a bag of peanut in Iceland.
Don’t be too cheap
I hate dogs, when I was a kid, a dog almost bit me that make me trauma up to this day. In Romania there are more dogs than people, so many time I have to turn around and walk few blocks more just to find another way. One time in Bucharest, I face to face with an ugliest dog I’ve ever seen, just like the dogs in Resident Evil movie. We stare each other, and it looked like he will chase and bite me. I ran like hell to nearest bar and have to pay 3 euro for coffee.
Arrived too early is shit. Many times when I took night bus or night train, I arrived early, around 1 am. It’s waste of money to book a hotel, it’s dangerous, and there are no transport left. In Gothenburg I sleep in bus station in winter. Damn cold. In Istanbul I’ve to stay in bar for 5 hours while listening Turkish music nonstop (they’re the only place that open). Until now I still can hear that cursed music in my dream. Or in Berlin where I arrived at 1am. I want to sleep in airport until morning but the security kicked my ass. Have to walk and stop for hours looking for the hotel. Finally find one and they charge me 25 euro just for three hours. Schweine scheisse.
Yes it was bad experience. But when I remember it and write it down here, I can't help not to smile. That's the beauty of traveling. Even bad experience can be a good one (the only exception is losing your passport and got stolen). If you have your own funny stories, let me know :)
Keep traveling guys!
Forget my luggage after buy the sandwich. Calmly get in the train and sit. (While eating my sandwich) "Hmm did I forget something? Why I feel so light?" Then I saw other people’s lift their bag. What the fuuuuu!!! I jumped the train and ran faster than Forrest Gump. I left it in sandwich shop. Luckily didn't miss the train.
Racist, racist everywhere. When I walked alone, sometime idiot young guys mock me saying ching chong ching chong in my face. Really, really want to kick their nuts. Sometime I just smiled while thinking “are you fucking blind? Have you ever seen brown Chinese? Your mom must be sorry to have idiot like you” Sometime replied them with the worst swear words in my native language while smiling at them. “It’s ok connard. I’m not angry. I will baiser votre puta mere when I return”. Something like that.
Stranded in Iceland. There are three main things you have to consider when you travel to Iceland. First, see whether if there’s someone who live there. Second, check the bus schedule. And third, always look the weather forecast first. I was 8 hours stranded in Borgarnes waiting for the next bus, a small town you finish the whole town just half an hour walk. But the worst was when I stranded for 9 hours in the middle of blizzard in Husavik. I wait in supermarket didn’t bring anything to kill time. But at least now I know how much a bag of peanut in Iceland.
Don’t be too cheap
- I transit 17 hours in Dubai choosing the cheapest price just to realized the other was just 10 euro more expensive with only 2 hours transit. The other time was 10 hours also in Dubai. I know Dubai Airport better than any airport in the world.
- And be really careful with RyanAir. Their airport is damn far. I missed flight in Barcelona, have to sleep in airport and print the ticket at 3 am (why the fuck buying online is cheaper than in counter? And what year is this we have to fucking print it?). My poor friend had to buy new 70 euro ticket just because the scanner can’t read the barcode. RyanAirshole.
I hate dogs, when I was a kid, a dog almost bit me that make me trauma up to this day. In Romania there are more dogs than people, so many time I have to turn around and walk few blocks more just to find another way. One time in Bucharest, I face to face with an ugliest dog I’ve ever seen, just like the dogs in Resident Evil movie. We stare each other, and it looked like he will chase and bite me. I ran like hell to nearest bar and have to pay 3 euro for coffee.
Arrived too early is shit. Many times when I took night bus or night train, I arrived early, around 1 am. It’s waste of money to book a hotel, it’s dangerous, and there are no transport left. In Gothenburg I sleep in bus station in winter. Damn cold. In Istanbul I’ve to stay in bar for 5 hours while listening Turkish music nonstop (they’re the only place that open). Until now I still can hear that cursed music in my dream. Or in Berlin where I arrived at 1am. I want to sleep in airport until morning but the security kicked my ass. Have to walk and stop for hours looking for the hotel. Finally find one and they charge me 25 euro just for three hours. Schweine scheisse.
Yes it was bad experience. But when I remember it and write it down here, I can't help not to smile. That's the beauty of traveling. Even bad experience can be a good one (the only exception is losing your passport and got stolen). If you have your own funny stories, let me know :)
Keep traveling guys!
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