I want to tell you a secret. The reason I come to Europe was to conduct a research. Studying my Master in Paris was just a side job. Finally after almost 1000 exhausting days of research, I come up with these conclusions. The research is restricted to only the place I’ve visited and different with other scientific research, mine was shitloadly subjective and highly influenced by stereotype. So here we goes!
AWARD FOR COUNTRY:
AWARD FOR COUNTRY:
- Most Holy shit that's cheap! Poland and Hungary. With 10 euro, you can stay in decent hostel and eat like a boss.
- Most WTF with this price? All Scandinavian. But the worst is Norway. 15 euro for McD menu? The fuck? Non Scandi: Switzerland. Train and hotel is damn expensive.
- The most polite: "Yes my love? Of course it’s England my dear"; Iceland. Warmest people even they live in coldest place.
- Country with best bitches. I mean beaches. Greece. Too many to be true. Perfect for your summer.
- The most on-time: Scheiße! The bus is one minute late! Naturlich in Deutschland!
- The yummiest food: Turkey! Kebab and all that spicy food. Yummm.. And France if you have money.
- The yuckest: Portugal. Didn't find any special food there.
- Most regret didn't visit: Mother Russia. Especially to see St. Petersburg and Red Square. Next time Kamerad!
- Most underrated: Iceland. Too far I guess and quite expensive; Poland. I couldn't understand why none of my friends visit this cool country. Love its old town and the Polish are the coolest guy! Portugal. Many cool places but most people prefer visit Spain. But yeah, prefiero Espana tambien.
- Most overrated cities: Venice. Hot, expensive, too crowded. Not that romantic.
- Classiest city: Vienna. Only in Vienna you can watch different opera everyday with only €3.
- Worst to live: PARIS. I love Paris, but if you don't have friends, forget it. Completely different than what you imagine. Just visit this city as a tourist, then go! I love Vienna much much more.
- City I want to live most: Stockholm. Istanbul. London. Gonna be awesome if I can live just for couple of months.
- Most "Why the hell you didn't join Schengen?"
UK: Bloody hell, €100?; Russia. Complain Kamerad, why too difficult and expensive?; Romania. I only allowed to stay for 5 days?? Dafuq?
- Country i wouldn't mind to visit again: Iceland and Greece. Never get enough.
AWARD FOR THE PEOPLE
- Most beautiful girl: Lithuanian! Brunette, perfect size (not that big). They are stunning, one level higher than beautiful. When I was in Vilnius, never in my life I said Oh my God. The girls are just WOW!; Swedish. In whole different league; Czech. One word. HOT! Admit it, you guys at least ever watch Czech Street. If you know what I mean :) Prague is the biggest cat walk in the world.
- Most handsome guy (no homo): Italy, Italy, Italy goddamnit. If all Italian guys move to Indonesia, we are doomed! Model, model everywhere.
- Least attracted:
- German and The Netherlands. Don't get me wrong, they're really beautiful. But with blonde hair, blue eyes, and big plus tall, they're too intimidating for an Asian like me.
- Icelandic. Beautiful like an elf. But they’re way too white. Imagine lady Arwen married with Gimli instead of Aragorn. Just like that.
- Gloomiest country: Bulgaria. Just grey, gloomy. Exactly like stereotype living in Soviet in 60s; Greece (but not in the islands). Come to Athens and Thessaloniki. Shops are closed, dirty, and you can smell stress is in the air.
- Happiest city: Weedsterdam. Who will stress if you can smoke weed anytime? And all cities in Switzerland. Beautiful, rich, and peaceful. Of course they’re peaceful, they have no fear to be Americaned or Germaned aka to be invaded :P.
- Unluckiest people: Polish. My Polish friend told me the history. “Do you know how it feels to have annoying neighbors? Look at our neighbor. But we’re cool now”
- Best language evah: Bah oui sans doute c'est français! Even swearing in French is sound lovely. Dpn't you agree with me, connard?
- Most annoying: Spanish. Especially when more than two people speaking. They loooooove to talk simultaneously. Annoying like ta puta madre.
Iceland. Try read this “Vaðlaheiðarvegavinnuverkfærageymsluskúraútidyralyklakippuhringur” Nope, that's not your cat walking in keyboard. It’s a real legit word.
- Most terrifying language: “UBERRACHUNG! There are many SCHMETTERLING and KAKERLAKE inside this KRANKENHAUS!” They sound like they are angry all the time. But once I learn, German is not that sound aggressive. But it really difficult as schwein.
- Coolest: Si si, io parlo Italiano! While using the Inzaghi hand gesture. No matter what language you speak, you'll look awesome if you use this gesture. Porque porque you bastardo!
- City's coolest name:
- Stratford-Upon-Avon. Majestic as fuck. No wonder Shakespeare was born here. If a girl asked where do you live, just say this city with James Bond style. “I live in Stratford. Stratford Upon Avon". She’ll wet herself. I guarantee it.
- Champagne-Ardenne. You become French just saying this. Again, if a girl ask you, use this city while using French, "J'habite a Champagne. Champagne Ardenne" No girl can resist. Try it.
- Maribor. Mari..Bor. I just love it. Sound like an evil character in cheesy Mexican telenovela. “Why you did this to us, Maribor. Why?!” said Maria Mercedez and Luis Fernando while Maribor smile like an evil.
- City's coolest name:
- Most terrifying city name: Where do you live? Ich wohne in BRAUNSCHWEIG! It Schweig Braun!
- Most beautiful : Bratislava. You’ll immediately think a beautiful brunette hot girl from Eastern Europe; Sofia. I'll date a girl with this name. "What's your name?" I'm Sofia. Damn she must be hot; Verona. Just google Angie Verona. You're very welcome guys :)
- The Most difficult: Polish. Because vowel is for pussies. You rarely use C,Y,Z? Bitch please! Challenge accepted by Błaszczykowski and Szczęsny.
- Most beautiful island: No doubt, Santorini.
- Coolest man made object: Meteora. Stonehenge. Sagrada Familia.
- Best castles: Neuschweinstein and Versailles.
- The best beach: Elafonissi in Crete.
- Most mind boggling scenery. Entire Iceland and Alpen Swiss
- Best National Park: In all Iceland; Plitvice. Said as most beautiful lake in the world; Lake District UK. Just like in Lord of the ring.
- Weirdest currency. Latvia. How on earth you Latvian Lat is more expensive than euro?
- The best moment: See the Aurora. First time to see Eiffel.
- The best festival: York Viking Festival. Queen's Day.
- Best sport event: Watching France vs Germany behind the goal with only 10 euro! I could see Ribery's scarface and Oezil's O_O
- Bronze: Switzerland. The Alps is really magnificent. Just take any train, and the view speak for itself. It's the most beautiful. Peace, nice people. and the Alps. But it's too expensive. So unfortunately, bronze only.
- Silver: Greece. Beautiful beaches, full of history, and cheap, Greece is perfect for all-round traveler. The beginning of civilization started from here. Amazing history, cheap, and most of all, fantastic beaches!
- AND THE WINNER IS : Iceland. Mindblown. Mindblown everywhere. Your jaw will always dropped everywhere. Not like on earth. Relaxing in Blue Lagoon, climb the glacier, see the geyser, walking under the volcano, see the whale, and most of all, things you have to see before you die: See the aurora.